Feeling better

Well, the good news is: already yesterday, I was feeling better and was able to go to church, get some exercise and went to the beach with Jim and the dog:) The sun was beautiful! I am still very congested but I don't feel nearly as sick as Friday. Jim caught my cold though, so that stinks. He's already feeling better though.

I started off having a great day today. Good night sleep, Jim was working from home and I love having him around the house:) We enjoyed our coffee together, did my treatments and then I went off to the gym and had a great run and enjoyed a good hour of althletic yoga....and we had a beautiful walk by the river with the dog...so great day....well just about 15 minutes ago, I got off the phone with the research dept of the clinic that I was trying to get in a clinical trial at and they just told me that they are not accepting patients from other clinics for this trial any longer because they have been able to reach the number they need with the patients currently going to their clinic....ugh. So I am very disappointed as I really felt like God had lead me to find this opportunity, and I met the qualifications..... She did, however, give me the number to another research dept at a different clinic down the street that is conducting a similar trial and I may qualify for that one. So I'm going to remain hopeful. Back to square one.

Not Feeling So Great

I haven't been feeling that great this past week. Actually this cold/infection has been lingering now for about 2 weeks. It's been frustrating because earlier this week, I thought I was on the mend and so I went about my normal activities and we even had friends over for dinner on Tuesday and then Wednesday, things just started going downhill.... I was up Wednesday and Thursday night with hemoptysis, which is always scary for me. It didn't help that from Thursday til today, I'm not in my own house, I have been staying with my parents as Jim is at a mandatory work conference. It's one thing to feel lousy but it's another thing to feel lousy and not be able to get the sleep you need and not even be in your own bed. Thankfully, after a phone call to my doctor, and some new medicine, I was able to sleep last night without hemoptysis and even got a little exercise today. So hopefully, I AM on the mend now and I just hope that my lungs feel stronger and stronger each day. I have my cf clinic appointment scheduled for Feb 9th so I am hoping to not have to go to the doctor til then. It's during these times that I catch myself relying on 'me' way to much and thinking to myself 'what else could I be doing?' instead of trusting in the healing power of God. I am doing everything I can possibly do right now, I'm taking my medicines, doing my treatments, resting and exercising when I can. I need to leave the rest up to Him.

Clinical Trial Possibility

So while I was doing my usual researching on different websites about cystic fibrosis and different clinical trials going on, I came across a very interesting one. One that I have seen before and thought that I would never qualify for based on the exclusion criteria (I have burkholderia cepacia). Well to my surprise, cepacia was not listed this time as one of the exclusions and the trial is being conducted about an hour from my home! So I immediately called the contact number given and over the course of the last couple of days, I have been speaking back and forth with the research coordinator. Based on the information given on the government website, I knew that I had one of the gene mutations they were looking for in the trial but I was shocked that out of a very small list, I also have one of the other ones they require for this trial! (there are over 1500)
I just started crying tears of joy! Not because this has to be a definite thing but sometimes all I need is a glimmer of hope. To me this was God saying, see I have not forgotten you:) If I can have hope of a day without hours of treatments and medicines each day, that is all I need to keep me plowing through each day. This potential therapy, in theory treats the underlying cause of cystic fibrosis. In theory, corrects the faulty mutation that causes cystic fibrosis! And its a pill! Thank you Lord for leading me to this trial and for the hope of a new day. Regardless of whether or not I get to be a part of this trial, it is an awesome thing and I do believe that cf research is on its way to a cure:)

Relationships

I've recently been reminded about how precious it is to have such great family and friends. We've been blessed with such supportive and loving families who would give us the world if they could:) I'm also thankful for the great life long girlfriends I met at college. We are still so close 10 years out and I know these will be friends for a lifetime. I had the chance to see my 'bestie' this weekend. A few of my girlfriends had planned to have a girls weekend and drive up to Canada and see her new home (she met a Canadian while she was working as a dolphin trainer in Bermuda and ended up marrying him and moving to Canada! Good thing he's a great guy:) but unfortunately, her grandmother passed away and she and her husband drove down this way to be with family instead. I still got to see her, even though just for a short time at the wake and funeral.

Sometimes you meet someone and you just click. I met Dena my freshman year of college and man, she is something special. We had 4 very fun years at school together. She is the kind of friend who really wants the best for you. I'm so blessed to have her in my life and everytime we get together, it's like no time has passed and we can share everything with each other. She is now pregnant with her first and I am so happy for them, I just wish we lived closer.

I'm also very thankful to have family close by. My parents live about an hour away and my mom never thinks twice about making the drive to visit on her day off. We had a fun day today walking at the beach and the sun was just beautiful! It must have been over 40 degrees and we went at just the right time to see the seals sun bathing on the island. Then we usually enjoy a lunch out which was such a treat today.....fresh fish.

God has provided a wonderful support system for Jim and I. He is good.

Good things

I have started babysitting my two little cousins on Fridays from 8-5pm. I've got to tell you, I had so much fun on Friday but at the end of the day, I was pooped. I felt like I couldn't move. We went to the library in the morning and played games and read books and thankfully there were some good naps had in the afternoon so Emily could have a little bit of a break:) I'm very thankful for this opportunity because the quality time I get to spend with these little guys is priceless. They are two wonderful kids and it's so nice to have some time with them without the whole extended family around.

So after this mornings church service and potluck lunch, Jim and I went to visit some friends who live below our old condo. They have two adorable kids. They got a babysitter and we decided to head to the IMAX to see the new Mission Impossible movie. I have to admit, I don't normally like action movies too much but this was really well done. The sound in that theater is pretty amazing too.

Tomorrow's a new week and I'm excited about Tuesday because I'm meeting with the director of the organization that I am going to start volunteering at. I have been praying about an opportunity like this presenting itself and it's really neat to see answered prayer. I feel like great things are going to happen in 2012!

God's Plan is Best

I've been realizing more and more lately that I'm an 'I want it and I want it now' type of person. I don't like that about myself. Patience is not one of my virtues. Although my heart knows that God's plan and timing is perfect, it's easy for my mind to point out all the things I don't have or haven't experienced. I should be thankful all the time:) I have much to be thankful for and I do believe that what God has in store for us is better than anything we could hope for.

I haven't really ever stuck with a new year's resolution but now that we are almost a week into the new year, I would really like to say that I'm going to try to turn to prayer and scripture when I'm doubting God's sovereign plan.

Proverbs 3:5 says:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.